As the crow flies, there is 4,172.4 miles between Mobile, AL and Cobh, Ireland.

Tonight it feels like a million.

The distance is a constant thing for us, and something we struggle to compensate for, usually successfully. Video and voice chat are usually open if we are both around, even if we have different things going on. Sometimes we’ll even leave Skype on when we go to sleep. It may sound silly, but leaving that connection open..it helps. If one of us wakes up, the other is right there, in the best way we can be right now.

This is something we accept, because it’s temporary. It’s hard, but we deal with it. Until the legalities are done, it is what it is. We find our strength in each other, and we keep trudging on.

Usually.

Tonight it’s not so easy. Paul has been asleep for a couple hours, and I should be too, but it’s just not there for me right now. He’s all I can think about. How much I miss him. How much I need him. How I would give absolutely anything in the world for just a few minutes with him.

With all the pain and uncertainty I’ve had to deal with in the last few months, he has been my constant. My rock.

4,172.4 miles.

*Deep breath* We’ll make it. I know we will.

Still, the knowing doesn’t make it any easier, at least not tonight.

I miss him.